Revernge of a 'Nerd'

Everyone from Brooklyn to Bayone is talking about it. The book is choc-full of scandal and steamy stories. "What a shock!" is uttered from the mouths of those who read it over the weekend. Im not talking about the A-Rod book, Im talking about the book entitled:
The Selena Roberts Story: From Stuffing Her Face to Being Stuffed in Lockers. It's s story for the ages. It's about unpopularity at its best. How an unknown portly teen soared through the ranks to become a semi-famous portly journalist. And just how did she put on that weight anyway??? Was it performance enhancing drugs??? Weight supplements??? Her five tub a day Vanilla Fudge Ice Cream diet??? Sources say that Roberts was fat as a teen but they can't understand how she could balloon to her current proportions. There is obvious evidence of P.E.D use (Powder Enhanced Donuts) in her appearance on MLB TV.
You can see the Gobbleoctular muscle (turkey neck) throbbing and pulsating as she sat in her interview with Bob Costas. When Bob was asked about Roberts he said "I could not concentrate. My eyes kept going there. There was so much flapping going on under her chin I thought there was a duck caught in a bear trap trying to get free." He then added "I don't get paid enough to be subjected to this crap..." threw down his mic and walked off of the interview. The Roberts book has more twists and turns than a size 14 wiggling in to a size 8. The book will be in stores next week and is poised to be a worst seller.

The Yankees Rollcall Blog does not condone the use of Powder Enhanced Donuts. Being fat is cool, but being a fat blabber mouth with an ax to grind is another story. Kids, please, don't eat donuts...and uhh... stay in school.